Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
We're not piercing ourselves today.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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