Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
