..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
