The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Randomize
