I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
