well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Randomize
