How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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