Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
