You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Randomize
