it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
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