you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Randomize
