Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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