just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
ttyl tear gas
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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