Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
