All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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