My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
There are leaves in my underwear?
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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