i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
