I want to stick my p in your. b.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
