Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
