did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
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