There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I have tasted many bathrooms
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
