i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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