i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
