I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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