I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
We are two peas in an std pod
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
