Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
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