Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
