If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
