The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
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