Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
People in love make me want to vomit
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Randomize
