he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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