I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
