he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
