these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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