Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Well apparently he's into motor boating.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
