it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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