...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Randomize
