maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
time to smoke my breakfast
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
