You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize