Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
