Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
