I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
