Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Randomize
