Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
