We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Randomize
