Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
