i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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