I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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