Cold hands, warm shart.
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
He better not be in your backpack
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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