six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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