She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
