she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I need to calm my uterus...
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize