walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
